SE NON PROVO DOLORE (English Translation) – Madame

[Intro]
Bias…

[Verse 1]
I confided in another friend today—who knows how I’m really doing.
I don’t have the strength to talk about it honestly.
She called me crazy, and she must be right.
It’s not me who’s accused her of judging me forever.
I want an airport of yellow and purple butterflies,
A fairy garden where I can cry in silence.
I feel like I don’t feel anything, and I have a terrible fear.
I want to be a bit alone, but I’m no help to myself.
I’m not stable ground for a secret garden.
My secrets and I have to tell them to the world, hoping it will reassure me:
“You’re normal, baby girl, you’re not going crazy.
You just need love, you just need time.”
I loved my brother so much I wanted to have sex with him, yo.
My father’s hands so much I wanted to tear them from his arm, oh.
My mother’s breast, that I pretended to have by force, eh.
I didn’t get the care that I needed.

[Pre-Chorus]
Forgotten.
By mistake.
Neglected.
By pain.
Treated badly.
Selfishness.
Turned into…
Narcissus.

[Chorus 1]
And I’m begging my body to react to stimuli,
Because sometimes it forgets how to stay alive.
It doesn’t recognize itself if I don’t make it go crazy,
If I don’t feel pain.
I’m begging my throat not to surrender,
My eyes to close when I wake up,
My gender to respond when they touch it.

[Verse 2]
I’m emotionally color-blind.
My spectrum of emotions is more reduced
Than the standard palette.
I’m only anger, fear, and agitation.
I feel my man’s love only if he disembowels me.
And I need it deeper and stronger, or I don’t feel it.
My dear, I’m apathetic; I’m a lion escaping.
Not even the cage makes me feel safe,
And my anger whips against the locks.

[Chorus 2]
Do you know what it means to be bad?
To see others choke themselves for you but not feel it?
To hear them say they love you but not understand?
If I don’t feel pain…
“Who doesn’t teach you to love, doesn’t love you.”
I know one day you’ll understand how much you can love yourself.
You’ll look at me with tenderness, without hating me anymore.

[Outro]
If I don’t feel pain…

Lyrical Meaning :

“Bias” is a brutally raw and psychologically intense song that delves into the aftermath of childhood trauma, emotional dissociation, and a fractured sense of self. The lyrics portray a narrator struggling with severely blunted emotions, where feeling anything—even pain—becomes a necessary proof of being alive.

The song’s core theme is emotional dysregulation. The narrator describes being “emotionally color-blind,” reduced to only primal states of “anger, fear, and agitation.” Love becomes indistinguishable from violence, needing to be extreme (“if he disembowels me”) to be felt at all. This illustrates how trauma can rewire the nervous system, making ordinary emotional cues illegible and seeking intensity to break through the numbness.

The references to family are shocking and reveal complex, entangled attachments—a mix of deep love and violent desire born from unmet needs and likely abuse (“I didn’t get the care that I needed”). The “secret garden” metaphor represents a vulnerable inner self that finds no stable ground within.

The chorus is a desperate plea for somatic connection: begging the body to react, because numbness feels like death. The outro suggests a twisted dependency: “If I don’t feel pain…”—pain becomes the only reliable signal of existence, a stark indicator of how the psyche adapts to survive profound neglect or harm. The mood is one of deep anguish, alienation, and fractured self-awareness, yet with a thread of hope for future self-understanding and tenderness.

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